Your Child: A perpetrator or a victim?

Are you a parent or guardian? Do you criticize your child more than you praise him? Are you always angry when supervising his home work or chores? Do you shout or slap or maybe spank the child, because his not meeting up to your expectations? 

Take it easy. Having a high expectation of your child is normal, placing a child under pressure, or beating him for making mistakes would not yield the results you want. 

 A researcher at the University of Pretoria, Centre for child law, Isabel Magaya said, when children are exposed to violence in the home, there’s a high possibility for a boy when he grows up, to become a perpetrator and for a girl when she grows up, to become a victim.

Isabel Magaya. 
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Some parents because they expects perfection from their child pushes and abuses the child verbally and physically.They call the child rubbish and all sorts of downgrading names, makes the child feel shameful and unworthy for not meeting up to their expectations. 

Physical hitting a child, name calling and shaming, because he makes mistakes or probably his a slow learner, won't give the desired results. on the contrary, these acts which most parents and guardians thinks is discipline or being strict so the child could learn is not healthy. This acts would surely affects his confidence and self esteem which is capable of creating loneliness, and increased likelihood of depression. 

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The negative effects of over controlled parenting is seen all through the life of an individual, low self esteem causes problems with friendships and romantic relationships, it impaired academic and job performance and it could lead to increased vulnerability to drugs, alcohol abuses and even death.

Perfection doesn't exist in reality, and the side effects of parents placing their children under too much pressure can never be over estimated. Allow children to grow as children, don't mount unnecessary pressure and expectations on them, don't push your child into the hands of peer group. A child would open up and confide in you as the parents or guardian if he or she feels safe and unjudged. 

Home is supposed to be a safe haven for kids and parents are expected to be their children's top fan, supporter and encourager. If you fail as a parent to win and assured the minors of your love, understanding and support, you would be sending them to unsecured and dangerous peer group. 

Assure your children of your unbending trust and non judgemental atmosphere for them to make bunch of mistakes and learn from them, because perfection doesn't exist, it is only a mere illusion which is a sure means to failure. 

Educate your children to embrace their weakness, explain and explain again why it is important to feel free to make mistakes while doing their best. It is okay and human to have weaknesses and to make mistakes. Teach them that it is important to learn and improve on those weaknesses to become strength as they grow in life stages.

 Children are gifts, embrace with love and mold them with affection and consideration to enable them become responsible adults and parents. 

As the British- American anthropologist, Ashley Montagu rightly said, love is the supreme form of communication. In the hierarchy of needs, love stands as the supreme developing agent of the humanity of a person. As such, the teaching of love should be the central core of all early childhood curriculum with all other subjects growing naturally out of such teaching.

Perfection does not exist in reality. Allow children, to be children.